One thing that children have in common on their journey to adulthood is the constant strive to become independent. Starting from infants when they are grabbing the spoon at feeding time, through the “I want to do it,” into those teenage years where they know what is best. It can become quite a power struggle between parent and child. Especially when there are time restraints, and they are taking thirty minutes or more getting dressed. Power struggles led to stress which makes feelings run high and deep. So, take a breath and consider that children gaining independence eventually help relieve daily pressures and help your child be a strong adult. There are many things you can do encourage independence and self-help skills.

Setting routines and expectations or those times helps children to e prepared and to transition their thinking to what they need to be doing. In the morning tell them it is time to get ready for school and tell them how much time they must be ready. Give them a countdown such as ten more minutes, then five more minutes. Be sure they are aware of the tasks that required to be ready such as put your shoes on, have your backpack ready. Older children can prepare their own sack lunch, prepare pets for the time you will be away or even help with a younger sibling.

Let your child make choices. Children should be able to get dressed themselves even at age three! Let them pick out their own clothes and just give them a time frame to be finished. Some children will pick out the most outrageous and miss matching outfits, but it is a terrific way to give them a chance to express themselves. Different colored socks, wearing stripes and polka dots together means a lot when they can say “I did it myself.” They can also choice and prepare their own snacks. Putting cheese and crackers on a plate, poring ranch or their carrot sticks can be a simple and easy start.

Giving your children chores and letting them help in daily housekeeping can be great way of establishing responsibility and independence. Children can pick up and organize their own room, take out the trash, set the table or take care of a pet. When children help, they gain confidence and knowledge that they are capable of doing things that are important. Giving them the opportunity to choose that their cars can go in a red bucket while dress up can go in blue basket gives them a chance to think and make decisions for themselves. When they can decide they are more willing to complete a chore.

One of the best ways to encourage independence is or children to strengthen their critical thinking skills through problem solving. When a child loose a toy under the couch the first thing they do is ask for help. Instead of reaching under the couch to get it for them walk them through scenarios that enables them to get it themselves. “Have you tried to extend your reach?” “Try using a broom or a clothes hanger.” When they spill their drink on the table try letting them clean it up before you jump into the rescue. The mess may get bigger at first but given the opportunity they will figure it out for themselves.

In the beginning stepping aside to give children more choices and opportunities to do thins themselves may feel frustrating but eventually as they accomplish the simple tasks, they will gain skills that will allow them to complete more complex actions. Life becomes so much simpler when power struggles evaporate and growing up becomes more like teamwork and family.

Ms. Dotty
Lead Pre-Kindergarten Teacher
NAEYC Coordinator

I have decided nothing will make you more of an emotional mess than becoming a parent. From pride, joy to sadness and anxiety. We all know that time marches on, but as a parent sometimes we wish we could just freeze it for a moment. The emotional roller coaster that is parenting is in fact, never ending.

I used to say I wouldn’t be that parent that got my heart strings pulled and got emotional over every little milestone. Turns out, I am SO “THAT” parent! Even though I am THAT parent there are still a few things that I didn’t expect to get emotional about that I figured I would share for those who can relate.

1) Hearing that my children are kind humans.

As a parent we all question and pray that our children are kind, and that this world doesn’t steal their kind hearts or break them to become bitter. So, every time I hear that my children are kind it makes me think that just maybe I am on the right path in this parenting thing. But more than thinking I may be okay at this parenting job it makes me get filled with prideful tears and a smile that won’t go away for the whole day.

2) Milestones that we know are going to happen.

These milestones can be a baby’s first steps, sleeping through the night, transitioning into their cribs, first foods first words, preschool spirit days, Kindergarten graduation, and even losing their first tooth. Honestly the list is never ending. I know these things are all going to happen, but it tugs and makes this mama’s heart a mess. It makes it very clear that time marches on and it will not be slowing down for anyone.

3) The first “I got this, or I can do it myself, or I don’t need any help.”

Don’t get me wrong I love independence and hope that each of my children leave my home feeling like they can take on anything and everything. However, I also hope they know that parents are their first cheerleaders and remember that when they do fall, we will be the first ones cheering them on to get up and try again because “they got this.”

4) Leaving the nest.

The closest I have come to this is my children going to public school. I was emotional mess sending them off to school like I wasn’t going to see them at the end of the day so I can’t imagine how I will feel when they go off into the world on their own. I am sure they are excited and will do great and that is all we can hope for as parents. However, doesn’t mean we are not emotional about even though we know they will crush it.

Being a parent is probably one of the hardest jobs out there and the emotional roller coaster will never stop even when our little ones are adults because to us parents, they will always be our babies. Appreciate the in the moment opportunities and try to slow down yourself to recognize the moments themselves.

Thank you.
Ms. Michaela
Lead Preschool Teacher
Social Emotional Coordinator

In our classrooms we work a lot on developing fine motor skills. Working out those tiny hands to strengthen their finger mobility and strength is so important before we can even begin writing pencil to paper. Many parents ask for recommendations on how to get their preschooler to practice writing, its as simple as just letting them have a piece of paper and a writing tool and letting them free write. A lot of kiddos really enjoy doing just that! But, I wanted to offer some other ways to work on building up those fine motor skills that help with writing at home that are simple and enjoyable.

1. While having outside time, have your preschooler find a stick and have them practice writing in the dirt/mud/sand! This is a great way to work on writing that can strengthen hand muscles, as there is a small bit of resistance when writing into these different mediums. Your kiddo could spell out their name, letters, numbers, and practice drawing shapes or pictures.
2. If you have started to prepare for Easter and have some of the plastic eggs on hand you can have your kiddo open and close eggs. Those are a challenge and are awesome to work on hand strength. If you have a few, put a cotton ball inside one of the eggs and have your child open eggs to find the hidden cotton ball. You could take turns hiding it and opening the eggs and I bet y’all loose count of how many you have opened/closed by the end!
3. Spring Clean up outside is another opportunity for your preschooler to get some fine motor practice in. As you are sprucing up your yard as it gets warmer, have your child take kid scissors to the dead grass, bush, sticks, whatever else you don’t mind them cutting up. Kids LOVE to use scissors. Another important skill to master in itself, but another way to exercise that hand. Let them cut and explore the different textures as it’s a fun experience and they really will love it.
4. Chalk! Yes, don’t forget about the chalk. Such an easy medium for kids to use to promote writing. I let my kiddos write and draw on our trampoline and they absolutely love it! Washes away quick and easy too. Try rainbow writing, where the child traces over their name/word/shape in one color and switches to another color tracing over the initial markings with a new color. Continue to trace the markings in multiple color layers.
   When writing skills are a focus, its not just about paper to pencil. Working on the strengthening on those tiny hand muscles has to come first and still need to be worked on even after your preschooler beings to write independently. Really makes holding the pencil a lot easier in order to be able to gain better control.

Ms. Whitney
Lead Pre-Kindergarten Teacher
Curriculum Coordinator

As a teacher one question that you hear often and is the absolute most dreaded question is “Why isn’t my son singing his letters yet? Mary was by this age.” Many parents fall into the trap of raising siblings and comparing their accomplishments and the timeline in which they are achieved. After you get the first child going it can be natural to think that all the children will follow the same learning pathway.

Children can share DNA, home environments, and school environments but we must remember that each child is an individual in their learning style and the time they need to learn. One child might be great at reading and learns letters and sounds quickly while the next might learn them slower and with a different method such as a game of hopscotch instead of using flash cards. When comparing children to each other, we as adults can affect how children feel about themselves and their siblings.

One thing that comparing brothers an sisters to each others can initiate is sibling rivalry. Sometimes a sense of competition between siblings can be healthy. But when a child’s abilities to learn are used to compare them they can develop numerous negative emotions toward their sibling. One child might start feeling superior to the other and begin to be a little pushy in how they relate. The other can develop a sub servant attitude and begin to just follow instead of adding their own ideas to situations. This kind of rivalry can affect the bonds between them and cause a weakened relationship. Its great when siblings can feel supported by each other.

Comparing children can be a huge hit to a child’s self-esteem. They may start to feel inadequate and broken. If they feel that they are unable to meet previous standards they may feel they are not good enough. They may start to give up instead of trying new methods to learn. Children will start to believe that some things are unattainable. Maybe they aren’t good enough to be an astronaut. Just because they learn letters in a different way or in different pace doesn’t mean they can’t be an author one day. Being compared to others might affect how they think others view them. They might feel that aren’t loved the same.

The way to combat such comparisons is to avoid labeling a child. Even a nonchalant statement as “George is the family reader” can affect their siblings especially if the same the child is the one always being praised. Each child needs to be acknowledged as being special. As parents and teachers, we need to find out how each of our children learn. We need to encourage them to try different ways and to learn be actively engaged in exploring different learning methods. Building an environment based on individuality and sibling teamwork will put children in a positive mindset to learn and give them greater opportunities to be successful.

Ms. Dotty
Lead Pre-Kindergarten Teacher
NAEYC Coordinator