Watching your children in conflict is hard. It can cause you to feel anxiety and fear. No one wants to have their children deal with issues with arguing or frustration. Our first instinct is to jump in and take care of the situation. But is that always the best move? Part of growing up is learning how to work through arguments and frustrating situations. They can’t do that if we constantly fix it for them. Sometimes it is better to make sure the situation and the environment is safe and then let them figure it out on their own.

While playing with a yoga ball a couple children decided to throw it up at a basketball hoop on the playground. Guess what….it got stuck. Now they have a problem. They want the ball but can’t reach it. It is to big to go through the hoop. As a parent and a teacher, you may want to walk over and get it for them. But is it really necessary? As long as they are safe this could be a great learning experience. I’ll let you in with a hint. They figure it out all by themselves. They tried throwing balls at it to bounce it back out. Eventually with suggestions from other classmates they used a hockey stick to push it out from underneath. The heroic cries of success were heard everywhere. Many problem-solving skills, teamwork ideas and patience were learned in that moment.
What are your thoughts when you walk into a classroom and see two children arguing and see the teacher not intervening immediately? I’m sure that the first things to mind is why won’t they help. I can guarantee you the teacher is not ignoring the situation. They are watching intently, evaluating the situation. They are making sure they are safe and waiting to see if they are needed or not. In this scenario the children can learn so much. They learn about what words are best, what tone of voice is best. How to listen and how to be heard. They can learn about compromise and negotiation. A hint from adult supervision about using nice words, a quieter tone and suggestion about taking turns or being fair can help guide them through.

A child was playing with cars and building racetracks. Making different ramps to help the car go faster and farther. One of the cars rolled under the stacked cots. The child initially asked for help. “Can you get it for me?” The first thought is to retrieve the car for them. But happens if you first give the child a chance to figure it out on their own. In this instance the child put several of the tracks together, slide them under the cots and swatted the car out. This child just learned an awesome lesson about thinking for themselves, gained self-confidence and a realization that they can do difficult things.

You will be amazed at how innovated your children can be when it comes to solving problems. They are creative with ways to manipulate tools in their environment. They are quite ingenious in connecting problems and solutions. They are very capable to do it in a kind and safe manner. Being present to help them is important. Giving them a safe and emotionally secure time and place to learn these skills is very important so that they can handle these issues when they are all grown up and on their own. Children are smart. They are capable. They just need the freedom to do. Here’s a NAEYC reference for something we’re doing in our classrooms.

NAEYC Standards – 1C.1 – Teachers give children a chance to resolve their own conflicts without immediate teacher intervention.
1C.5 – When children are in conflict. Teachers help them think of alternative solutions.

Ms. Dotty
Lead Pre-Kindergarten Teacher
NAEYC Coordinator

Does even thinking about writing with your preschooler seem like an impossible task? With these writing tips for each age it will be a breeze. You will have them sitting up at the table practicing their writing skills as soon as you’re ready. So, whether you are still stuck at home right now or you are worried about a decrease in fine motor skills and writing check this out!

For three-year old’s writing isn’t so much about the writing as it is about the pencil grip. Small children have to fine tune those motor skills by doing things like using scissors, scribbling, tying knots, or beading. You are still asking them to “write” even if they are just scribbling. This is a good pre-writing skill. They are just one step closer by putting pen to paper and thinking they are writing. The more that you do this and keep a journal of each of their writings you will see the progress. It will go from random scribbles that look more like drawing, to small circular doodles, to wavy horizontal lines, to huge block letters (usually the letters in their name). It is an amazing process to see happen over months of work.

By age four most children have learned to write their name or all or most of the letters in their name. It is very important to them. If you are struggling to get your preschooler to sit and practice writing, then ask them to write their name for you. They will likely be very excited to do so, and even more excited to show you that they did it! Even if they are making repetitive marks they are learning. It is important that when you are showing your child how to write something or making letters for them make sure that you are both facing the same direction (or else they learn to write backwards and upside down).

Five- year old’s have a pretty firm grasp on writing for the most part. Many are still just writing in a made-up language, but much of it is real letters. If this sounds likes your kiddo, they are on a great writing path. Give them writing prompts; tell them to write a story about a dragon. See where they take it, and they will be so excited to tell you their story once they are done. Practice and repetition are a must at any age. If they are struggling with their name, then keep working at that. If they have a weak pencil grip work on fine motor skills. Also, pencil grips are a great tool to use as well. If your kiddo is on it and can do all that you ask them to, then their next level up is to practice writing inside the lines in the paper to start making smaller letters.

Writing is a fun thing to regularly practice with your child, just like reading with them each day. Make fun activities like tracing letters with glitter or colored salt/sugar/rice. Pull out those take out chop sticks and they can make letters out of them. Set up a special writing area for your child it will make writing feel important like it is their job; big hit especially if you already have a home office just build in there.

Have fun writing with your children by making fun games and doing fine motor (pencil grip strengthening) activities. Remember that every child is different; not all will reach the same milestones at the same time. You cannot compare your second child to your first. You cannot criticize your parenting skills either even if you are doing the exact same steps. Writing is a major milestone. Remember back to that first time they sat up; same concept. Only repetition will make for perfection.

Ms. Brooke
Lead Pre-Kindergarten Teacher
Literacy Coordinator