Watching your children in conflict is hard. It can cause you to feel anxiety and fear. No one wants to have their children deal with issues with arguing or frustration. Our first instinct is to jump in and take care of the situation. But is that always the best move? Part of growing up is learning how to work through arguments and frustrating situations. They can’t do that if we constantly fix it for them. Sometimes it is better to make sure the situation and the environment is safe and then let them figure it out on their own.

While playing with a yoga ball a couple children decided to throw it up at a basketball hoop on the playground. Guess what….it got stuck. Now they have a problem. They want the ball but can’t reach it. It is to big to go through the hoop. As a parent and a teacher, you may want to walk over and get it for them. But is it really necessary? As long as they are safe this could be a great learning experience. I’ll let you in with a hint. They figure it out all by themselves. They tried throwing balls at it to bounce it back out. Eventually with suggestions from other classmates they used a hockey stick to push it out from underneath. The heroic cries of success were heard everywhere. Many problem-solving skills, teamwork ideas and patience were learned in that moment.
What are your thoughts when you walk into a classroom and see two children arguing and see the teacher not intervening immediately? I’m sure that the first things to mind is why won’t they help. I can guarantee you the teacher is not ignoring the situation. They are watching intently, evaluating the situation. They are making sure they are safe and waiting to see if they are needed or not. In this scenario the children can learn so much. They learn about what words are best, what tone of voice is best. How to listen and how to be heard. They can learn about compromise and negotiation. A hint from adult supervision about using nice words, a quieter tone and suggestion about taking turns or being fair can help guide them through.

A child was playing with cars and building racetracks. Making different ramps to help the car go faster and farther. One of the cars rolled under the stacked cots. The child initially asked for help. “Can you get it for me?” The first thought is to retrieve the car for them. But happens if you first give the child a chance to figure it out on their own. In this instance the child put several of the tracks together, slide them under the cots and swatted the car out. This child just learned an awesome lesson about thinking for themselves, gained self-confidence and a realization that they can do difficult things.

You will be amazed at how innovated your children can be when it comes to solving problems. They are creative with ways to manipulate tools in their environment. They are quite ingenious in connecting problems and solutions. They are very capable to do it in a kind and safe manner. Being present to help them is important. Giving them a safe and emotionally secure time and place to learn these skills is very important so that they can handle these issues when they are all grown up and on their own. Children are smart. They are capable. They just need the freedom to do. Here’s a NAEYC reference for something we’re doing in our classrooms.

NAEYC Standards – 1C.1 – Teachers give children a chance to resolve their own conflicts without immediate teacher intervention.
1C.5 – When children are in conflict. Teachers help them think of alternative solutions.

Ms. Dotty
Lead Pre-Kindergarten Teacher
NAEYC Coordinator

Does even thinking about writing with your preschooler seem like an impossible task? With these writing tips for each age it will be a breeze. You will have them sitting up at the table practicing their writing skills as soon as you’re ready. So, whether you are still stuck at home right now or you are worried about a decrease in fine motor skills and writing check this out!

For three-year old’s writing isn’t so much about the writing as it is about the pencil grip. Small children have to fine tune those motor skills by doing things like using scissors, scribbling, tying knots, or beading. You are still asking them to “write” even if they are just scribbling. This is a good pre-writing skill. They are just one step closer by putting pen to paper and thinking they are writing. The more that you do this and keep a journal of each of their writings you will see the progress. It will go from random scribbles that look more like drawing, to small circular doodles, to wavy horizontal lines, to huge block letters (usually the letters in their name). It is an amazing process to see happen over months of work.

By age four most children have learned to write their name or all or most of the letters in their name. It is very important to them. If you are struggling to get your preschooler to sit and practice writing, then ask them to write their name for you. They will likely be very excited to do so, and even more excited to show you that they did it! Even if they are making repetitive marks they are learning. It is important that when you are showing your child how to write something or making letters for them make sure that you are both facing the same direction (or else they learn to write backwards and upside down).

Five- year old’s have a pretty firm grasp on writing for the most part. Many are still just writing in a made-up language, but much of it is real letters. If this sounds likes your kiddo, they are on a great writing path. Give them writing prompts; tell them to write a story about a dragon. See where they take it, and they will be so excited to tell you their story once they are done. Practice and repetition are a must at any age. If they are struggling with their name, then keep working at that. If they have a weak pencil grip work on fine motor skills. Also, pencil grips are a great tool to use as well. If your kiddo is on it and can do all that you ask them to, then their next level up is to practice writing inside the lines in the paper to start making smaller letters.

Writing is a fun thing to regularly practice with your child, just like reading with them each day. Make fun activities like tracing letters with glitter or colored salt/sugar/rice. Pull out those take out chop sticks and they can make letters out of them. Set up a special writing area for your child it will make writing feel important like it is their job; big hit especially if you already have a home office just build in there.

Have fun writing with your children by making fun games and doing fine motor (pencil grip strengthening) activities. Remember that every child is different; not all will reach the same milestones at the same time. You cannot compare your second child to your first. You cannot criticize your parenting skills either even if you are doing the exact same steps. Writing is a major milestone. Remember back to that first time they sat up; same concept. Only repetition will make for perfection.

Ms. Brooke
Lead Pre-Kindergarten Teacher
Literacy Coordinator

When my oldest son was 9 months old, I took him to his well baby check. His pediatrician asked the basic questions, checked Cameron out, then asked the dreaded question, “is he sleeping through the night?” I knew this was some sort of expectation, but Cameron was nowhere near. I told the pediatrician no, and listened as he told me I needed to let Cameron cry it out and teach him how to sleep longer. My heart was racing, but I went home and shared the information with my husband. That night when Cameron woke up the first time, we waited as he cried. It was heart breaking. I didn’t last very long before my mommy instinct told me to go cuddle and nurse my baby. And I’m so glad I did. What I know now that I didn’t know then is that sleep is developmental, 9 months is a tough time for sleep, and a 5 hour stretch is considered “sleeping through the night.”

Before I dive right in I’m going to say that I know everyone parents the best they can, with the best intentions for their children. This is definitely not about shaming or putting down a certain technique. It’s simply information that made my life a lot easier when my boys were babies and that influences how I care for the babies I’m with every day.

When we learned that letting Cameron cry himself to sleep wasn’t going to work for our family, I found myself wanting to know more. Why was it so important that babies sleep all night? I don’t sleep all night! How are babies supposed to learn to self-soothe if they aren’t able to trust the very adults caring for them? Why is slef-soothing even an expectation for a tiny human who can’t talk? I know I have a hard time calming down sometimes, and I have quite a few tools in my arsenal to help me do it. Somewhere along the line, society decided that babies needed to be seen and not heard. Expectations were placed upon them that most grown adults can’t even meet. There are all sorts of parenting books on the market that support strict scheduling for babies, only feeding at certain times, letting babies cry, and the big one, not spoiling your baby.

The sad truth is that a lot of this information has been linked to infant dehydration and failure to thrive, damaged neurons in our infants’ brains, and an overall lack of trust between infant and adult. Babies are born with 100 billion neurons. (Yes, that many!) During their first 3 years, synapses, or connections, between those neurons are made. From birth to age 3, the number of synapses per neuron grows from 2500 to 15000! This is why early childhood is such an important time in a child’s life. Babies have specific periods where synapses are made at higher speeds. I personally discovered The Wonder Weeks when Cameron was around 10 months old, and I wish I had sooner. The Wonder Weeks are specific periods of rapid brain development, usually marked by extra fussiness, more frequent sleep interruptions, and the need for more cuddles. For me, it was helpful to know what was going on and why.

Early stimulation sets the stage for how children will learn and interact with others throughout life. A baby’s experiences, good or bad, all play a part in the wiring of his brain. Loving interactions with caring adults strongly stimulate a child’s brain, causing synapses to grow and existing connections to get stronger. Connections that are used become permanent. If a child receives little stimulation early on, the synapses will not develop, and the brain will make fewer connections. This means that when a baby is responded to when crying and held and comforted, connections are made and strengthened in his or her brain. If you take anything away from that, it’s that you can’t spoil a baby! Hold your baby, feed your baby, play with your baby, whenever and however you can. You’re setting them up for success and not the other way around.

It doesn’t stop when they’re no longer infants either. My boys are 6 and 3 and I still respond to them as quickly and lovingly as I can. They both end up in our bed often. I write this as my 3 year old sleeps next to me! He was scared and knows that I’m a safe place. One day they won’t need this from me, but that will be on their own terms. No matter what happens in life, I think that’s one of the biggest parenting goals ever.

Ms. Amy
Infant Nursery Supervisor
Parent Connection Coordinator