On July 4th, 2016, I received the biggest blessing in my life, my son Mitchell! But why do I feel so blue? Why do I cry because my boyfriend won’t make me a bowl of cereal? Or when he gets to go fishing and hunting? Why do I want to be by myself all of the time?

I love my son with everything I have, but…. why am I not happy? Motherhood is hard but new mommy hood is life changing. You have to adapt to the lifestyle so fast and it’s hard!

I used to be interested in so many things and I was able to get out and do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. But why don’t I care to do anything anymore? I lost interest. Or is it because I feel like I can’t do it anymore because I have a son now?

That’s what happens with postpartum depression… your mind goes crazy thinking unwanted thoughts and your emotions go through the roof. It has been an emotional rollercoaster the first 7 months of having Mitchell and I could never understand why. I’ve always been emotional but never this intense!

I did research and had to understand these 5 steps to wrap my head around what was happening to me.

DENIAL. So, what was going on with me? My boyfriend would ask, “Do you think you have postpartum depression?” Me: “No. I love being around baby boy and he is the best thing ever.” A lot of women feel disconnection with their newborns which is a symptom of postpartum and that wasn’t the case with me so there is no I way I have it. We moved on from the idea because “I DID NOT HAVE POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION.”

ANGER. 8 months goes by and it was still bad; I was very irritable and emotional over any and everything! Your brain flips this switch that has you thinking all negative thoughts and you literally question your whole life. You get mad at your spouse for not looking at you the right way, for saying something the wrong way, you get frustrated with your children for not leaving you alone.

These all seem like normal symptoms when you’re a new mom, right? But it’s different with postpartum; you lock yourself in your room and leave all the duties for whoever wants to take them on. You hide under the covers and just cry. You can’t stop. So, what do you do? How do you shake this feeling?

BARGAINING. You try to self-cure and find ways to “slow down” the thoughts. You believe that it’s what you’re doing or not doing physically this is causing all this emotion and turmoil. You start to think, “if I just get more sleep everything will be easier.” Or, “once I get the hang of this routine and what works best I won’t feel this down anymore.”

I always felt like I was in a funk and that if I could change something about my life or my routine, then I would fix the funk and everything would be better. So I did. I got a new position at work and I got excited about my days all over again. But that feeling was temporary; there was still something deeper down that was not okay.

DEPRESSION. Once you realize that self-curing is not working you start to overthink. You start to resent your partner, your biggest blessing, and you’re mad at the world. You still don’t know exactly what is going on with you but you know it’s not normal.

Did you know 15-20% of other new moms are in the same position? It’s a relief to know I am not going through this alone and that I am NOT crazy.

ACCEPTANCE. The next step is to understand that you are off balance and that you need to find help. As hard as this was to write and admit to, I can no longer be afraid to share what has been going on. When you finally accept that you need help, it’s easier to reach for it and obtain it. I was put through an intervention and realized that “whoa, I do have postpartum” because this wasn’t normal, even for me and my emotional self.

Postpartum is treatable with medications and therapy, so go talk to your doctor and ask for help. I am beyond grateful that my family noticed my symptoms and didn’t just ignore them but pushed for me to go talk to somebody.

Motherhood isn’t easy. Being human isn’t easy, notice what you need to do for you, and everything else will fall in place.

At one point or another every early childhood educator has had to explain to someone that the children are doing so much more than just “playing” all day. We have also had to explain that we are not going to sit children down all day and make them copy letters and numbers either.

Early learning is the most unique type of learning, and also the most important. Most of brain development is established during the first three years of life. The most critical years of learning take place during the first five years. All of this happens before children ever take their first step onto a school bus.

Many educators have dedicated their professional careers to discovering and developing the best ways to prepare children for what lies ahead. Yes, we want to help them be kindergarten ready, but it is so much more than that. We want to help guide children in all things, to become that well rounded little human being that we love. We have to lay the ground work for higher level learning to take place later on. As an NAEYC accredited program we follow and believe in the research that has been backed by the importance of play.

One of the best ways we have found to cater to the whole child is by engaging them in play. It is not just letting children do what they want to all day; it is guiding them with ideas and materials, then stepping back and letting them steer. Let their interests be a big part of how you teach. If the child can connect with the material then they will learn it effortlessly.

Forcing learning down a child’s throat (or anyone’s throat for that matter) does not end in success. Each child has their own quarks and they will all learn in different ways. It may come easier to some than others, but they will all find understanding if you present the information in just the right way. Using play as one of your tools can have a huge impact because play comes naturally to children.

For young children there is no difference between play and learning. It is fun to learn and learning is fun. As Laurel Bongiomo, PhD puts it, “they are not separate activities. They are intertwined. Think about them as a science lecture with a lab. Play is the child’s lab” (NAEYC). Playing extends beyond the classroom alone. Playing outside, playing alone, with siblings, with peers, with family; each of these situations is setting the child up for success and challenging their brains in different and supportive ways.

The list of reasons for “why play?” could go on and on, but the main skills pulled from play are: cognitive skills, physical agility, and social skills. Under those main points stem kindness, love, and acceptance, gross and fine motor development, and use of imagination, expanding vocabularies, and problem solving skills. To the untrained eye it may just look like child’s play, but to the educator we see the real magic happening right before us.