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How to Raise an Obedient Child

February 26, 2021 by Young Scholars Academy Leave a Comment

A priority for all parents is setting basic boundaries and instilling obedience in our children. As parents, we expect our kids to follow our expectations and rules without challenging us. In addition to establishing boundaries between parent and child, we also expect children to follow our rules and expectations because we want what’s best for their health, safety, and well-being. When children behave respectfully, this helps them develop other important skills and character traits, in addition to keeping our kids safe. However, raising an obedient child can seem easier said than done. 

Instilling obedience in our kids can be frustrating. It takes a lot of patience, reminding, and practice. Additionally, we want to make sure our kids do not just obey our rules and expectations because they want to avoid punishment, but because they truly understand the benefits of doing so. The good news is instilling good behavior in kids does not have to be complicated. You can follow these practical, simple, and gentle methods to help you lay the foundation for good behavior with your little one. 

Use a few soft-spoken words

Getting your child to follow your expectations and behave respectfully doesn’t need to require using a lot of words on your part, nagging or threatening. You only need to use a few simple and soft-spoken words. If you find yourself yelling at your kids frequently when they misbehave, now is the time to stop. This isn’t the most effective approach when raising an obedient child. 

You can earn respect from your child and instill obedience in them by using soft-spoken and simple words. It will not come easily at first, but you’ll see the benefits as more time goes by. 

Teach them how to obey

Young kids don’t always understand what the word “no” means, and it isn’t enough that we say things like, “No, you can’t pick that up,” or, “No, you can’t touch that.” Teach little ones how to obey by showing them how to obey. 

For instance, if you want children to stop playing with dirt, you need to physically remove their hands from the dirt and then tell them. “No.” If your child is a little older and can understand logic, you can explain why he or she isn’t allowed to do certain actions. 

Do not keep repeating yourself

It’s not effective obedience training when you find yourself constantly repeating your instructions. Remember that “following up” is different from repetition. Once you’ve given your child an instruction and have ensured that he or she is clear about what’s expected, do not keep repeating yourself anymore. If your child becomes accustomed to hearing repetitive instructions, it will only give the impression that it’s okay not to do what you’ve asked after the first time.

Offer alternatives

One of the reasons obedience is instilled in children is to keep them out of danger or trouble. However, this concept may be difficult for young children to comprehend. They don’t always understand why we want them to go to bed at a reasonable hour or why it’s important that they don’t eat sweets before dinner time. 

Instead of focusing on the things that they can’t do, it may be helpful to suggest the things children can do. For example, if your child isn’t allowed to munch on sweets before mealtime, you can suggest a better option. Tell your child that after he or she finishes dinner to your satisfaction, he or she can enjoy a scoop or two of ice cream for dessert afterward. This will help ensure that your child adheres to your rules with fewer complaints or resistance. 

Be consistent

Consistency is key when it comes to effective obedience training. When you establish rules and set expectations in your home, be sure to implement them consistently. Your training will be useless if you say “no” to something, only to change your expectations later.

For example, when you say “no” to having junk food for an afternoon snack, be sure not to give in no matter how much your child may beg. Stick with your rules to help your child understand that you mean them. 

Set an example

The number one place your child will learn anything is from observing your actions. You have the power to instill discipline and good behavior in children by setting an example with your own behavior. Start with yourself., Be mindful of your own words and actions. Be the adult you want your child to be and obedience will follow. 

Raising an obedient child may seem challenging but it doesn’t have to be. Through consistent training and smart strategies, you can build the habit of obedience in your little one. 

Visit Young Scholars Academy for more helpful parenting tips and resources. 

 

 

Filed Under: Family Tips

The Demise of the Snow Day

February 16, 2021 by Young Scholars Academy Leave a Comment

One of the things I looked forward to the most when growing up was snow days from school. I was never one to break the rules and randomly skip school. I would even lie in bed feeling guilty when I wasn’t feeling well, and my mother would keep me home. So, snow days was like skipping school while following the rules for me. Totally awesome! Now with electronics and the latest trend of e-learning children are missing out. Now when school is closed for snow it’s not just a stay home day, its I’ll see on the screen. Its I’ve e-mailed or posted you the assignments you need to do at home. What a letdown. I know someone who had a family tradition of flushing ice cubes down the toilet on wintery nights in hopes of getting a snow day. Even as teenagers! Snow days have been a day of family connection, stolen moments for making memories when school and work was put aside. I think its sad to see it start to go away. Children are told what to do and have so many expectations they have to meet. Snow days was the opportunity to feel free for a day. To go sledding, build snowmen, and have snowball fights with your friends outside. To have hot chocolate with blankets and a movie in the evening with your family. Now all of that is too pushed aside to continue learning. Learning is important. It is necessary to grow and gain knowledge to be productive adults but losing the ability to connect with others in an impulsive and creative way is just as important to growing up. We need to balance it out.

Now that organized school learning is going to start happening more and more from home it is important to find ways to make new snow day traditions. Continue to throw the ice cubes in the toilet. Continue to go sledding and have hot chocolate. Help and encourage your children who et a snow day to complete the assignments given to them but set aside time to do the fun things we see as normal snow day traditions. Involve your children in coming up with new ways to enjoy the snow. Building family connections and emotional ties to people in a tangible way is just as important as math and literacy. Impromptu experiences help children to be inventive in creating their own learning experiences. They need the opportunity to experience to try new thins without planning it out. They need to have the chance to be in charge. Opportunities for children to just be children and to fly in opposition of what’s expected of them are slowly disappearing.

Snow days always had the underlining meaning of freedom. Freedom to create and to experience things out of the norm. Snow days were exciting. They were fun. I think that with all the changes our children are going through, growing up and trying to meet the expectations of others it is important to maintain childhood traditions to the best of our ability. Snow days are not trivial. Snow days are important!

Ms. Dotty
Lead Pre-Kindergarten Program
NAEYC Coordinator

Filed Under: Activities

Get Your Kids Brushing!

February 16, 2021 by Young Scholars Academy Leave a Comment

Growing up, dental health was a huge deal in my family. My dad was a dental laboratory technician in the Air Force for 20 years and still continues that same line of work almost 20 years later. He used to bring home these sneaky plaque revealing tablets to trap us if we didn’t brush well enough, and I myself had a LOT of dental work done. I had braces, expanders, head gear…the works. Taking care of my teeth after all that has been important and teaching my boys to do the same is a priority. This has been a huge challenge with our oldest with his sensory processing and autism spectrum disorders. I’ve come up with some tips for brushing teeth with a child with sensory concerns and difficulties. They aren’t all perfect but they’re a start, even if your kiddo is simply having a tough time with it in general.

  1. Find a toothbrush they love. Soft bristles, comfy handle, with a color or character that they’re interested in.
  2. Grab a fun timer or find a video they can watch for the span of time to brush. Remember to start small and build up to a longer time frame. Some brushing is better than no brushing. It can be you doing the brushing, the child doing it, or a combination of both.
  3. Try a finger brush, silicone bristled brush, or a brush designed for children with special needs if the bristles of a regular brush are too much. You can massage their hand or cheek to familiarize them with the sensation.
  4. Start with no toothpaste if they have an aversion to it and slowly introduce small amounts.
  5. Lean the child back against you with their head on your chest for brushing and flossing. Go slow and speak/sing softly.
  6. Use praise and rewards rather than consequences and negativity. This is an important skill but also something that can be very difficult to handle, so keep it light and upbeat. We love to use “if, then” in our house. “If you let me brush your teeth for one minute, then you can play for 5 extra minutes before bed.” Whatever works!
  7. Practice good oral hygiene even if it isn’t perfect everyday, encourage healthy eating (as much as you can!), and visit a dentist every 6 months. Make sure the dentist is aware of your child’s special needs! I cannot begin to tell you how difficult dental visits are for us and how much I dread them, but having a dentist who had a heads up and knew the circumstances was a huge help. The visit may be a total bust but keep trying!
    Remember to be patient and allow you and your child so much grace. We have really great days, not so great days, and some where we scrap the idea altogether. Consistency is key!

 

Ms. Amy
Infant Nursery Supervisor
Parent Connection Coordinator

Filed Under: Activities

Letting Go and Saying “NO”

February 16, 2021 by Young Scholars Academy Leave a Comment

The work ‘No’ to a child can get a variety of reactions. You know, the huge blow-out fit, the whines, the eye roll, the stomping of tiny feet, etc. It can be a hard spot to be in when you are standing in the middle of the store and you know the build up is coming as you approach that last end cap of candy…. Your child asks/points and requests to add it to the cart, but do you need it? No. Is the fit going to happen when you tell your child that answer? Maybe. What are you going to do about it?

Say it with me…. No, nope, not today. Sorry, but no maybe next time.

Telling your child ‘no’ is not the end of the world. Its something we need to be doing more of. If the fit happens, you must work though it! In the adult world, we get told ‘no’ daily, all the time. We work though it and process those steps. Allowing your child to have “xyz” all the time and always saying ‘YES’ is setting them up for a fake dream world.

I understand the fits, and the whines can be overwhelming and exhausting. The more they hear the word ‘no’ and can work though what that means for them in their world and process that effectively is setting them up to be able to problem solve and realize that the world is not just for them, we share it with others and our actions effect other people.

So in the store, you tell your child ‘no’ to the candy as you are checking out and the full blown fit explodes. HOLD STRONG. People may stare, who cares! Let it Go! Likely you will not see them ever again in your life and the ones with kiddos will silently be saying, “Yea, I know how that goes.” Explain to your child the reason. The whole “because I said so” reply doesn’t cut it. Give them more than that, they deserve an answer in a way they can understand. Give them the reason and an alternative. “You can’t have the candy at the store, but you can have those cookies we baked after dinner tonight.” Or “You can’t have the candy at the store, but when we get home you can eat the yummy fruit we just bought.” Whatever fits your reasoning. Give them the two sides, make it simple for them.

But what if that doesn’t work? Then they will need to process, and you will need to further work on this communication with them. Explain, don’t let your emotions/embarrassment get the best of you. We MUST tell our kiddos ‘no’. They need to work though these emotions; we don’t always get what we want when we want it. If you are dragging your kiddo out of the store screaming, its fine. Its truly fine. Take a deep breath, don’t give up on them. Work with them. Allow them (and you) time to calm down. Then take the time to reexplain until they come to an understanding. They might not fully get it this round or even the next, but you have to keep trying and working though it every single time.

You’ve got this! Keep trying, keep communicating! Remember, telling them ‘no’ is not the end of the world. They must learn how to process being told no and you must take the time to work though the meaning, emotions, and resolutions with them.

Filed Under: Activities

For the Love of Your Baby’s Hair

February 16, 2021 by Young Scholars Academy Leave a Comment

Before giving birth to my beautiful baby girl I knew to keep an open mind of my children having any type of hair from thick and wavy like mine to thick and coarse like their father’s or anything in between.

I knew some different things would have to be done with her hair than how I care for my own hair. I was however naïve enough to think that running some coconut oil through their hair would be enough. Even though I have known of my own husband’s hair care needs for years I did not think that it would fully apply to our children and vice versa my husband did not have knowledge of her hair having different needs than his. We both learned some things.

As our baby has grown from infant to toddler her hair has changed from straight and fine to thick and curly. The needs of her hair have changed dramatically through the months.

I want to educate myself on the proper hair care for my biracial baby. So, I started doing research and reading blogs from mothers all over the world with many different backgrounds. I wanted all of the information. I read harsh blogs that made me feel like I was not doing right by my daughter AND I read blogs that were insightful and filled me with a fire to learn how to do my daughter’s hair to the best of my ability. I recently read a magazine article about a woman who was afraid to wear her hair bonnet around her roommates of four years because she did not think they would be accepting. What a terrible feeling of not being able to be your full and true self in your own home due to fear. I would never want anyone, especially my own children to grow up with those feelings. I had a takeaway from each blog that I read. But in the end, I had to just take the advice that I could use and toss the rest, as with all parenting advice.

I did her hair up one day and felt like the master. Another day I could not get her to hold still and I could not focus on what I was doing. I have cried over this, felt overwhelmed, and powered. For those that had no idea that hair could cause this much emotion they have never had to experience it. I leave you all with this information not as judgment, but as a learning opportunity. You may have to learn to care for a different type of hair from your own. And I want you to know that if you already realized you would have to do things differently from how you care for your hair, then you are already ahead of the curve. You can do this! If you haven’t ever put much thought into other people’s hair. Take as step back and realize that many hair “styles” are less about style and more about care and protection of beautiful locks.

My personal goal was to learn the correct ways of taking care of my daughter’s fragile curls. I want her to grow up to be an empowered woman who embraces her curls and has learned how to properly take care of her own hair from me.

There is no clear-cut route to take when it comes to biracial hair. Each child’s head of hair is as unique as they are. I have taken advice into consideration, tried out many different products, and adjusted to fit my daughter’s needs.

So, the next time there is judgment passed on someone’s hair ask the person questioning it how much they know about natural hair and the crazy journey that that person has been on with their own hair. Keep on reading folks and having conversations; just when you think you know it all you learn something new.

Ms. Brooke
Lead Pre-Kindergarten Teacher
Curriculum Coordinator
Literacy Coordinator

Filed Under: Family Tips

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