Stress takes many forms in people lives, not everyone has the same stressors. It can be anything from striving to be perfect, self-doubt, even trying to control everything in your life. It can come from any event in your life, sometimes it can be positive like when you need to meet a deadline, other times it can leave you feeling angry, frustrated or nervous. Over time stress can leave you feeling rundown and out of sorts.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Are you feeling overly tired?

Do you have low energy or get frequent headaches?

Do you find yourself getting sick more often or even not sleeping?

Chances are you are stressed over some obstacle in your life. The challenge then comes to figure out your stressors and find ways to work through them. Yes, I said work through them as just avoiding them is never a long-term answer. Everyone has their breaking point that one thing that sends you so far over the edge you feel like you can’t breathe or even think straight. Now anyone that knows me knows that I have to have as much control as possible, everything has to be neat and tidy, and if something doesn’t go how I planned it I literally panic and feel as if I have done something wrong. Now are these normal feelings to a degree yes, have they caused major stress in my life yes!

My breaking point was when I literally had a breakdown in the grocery store yes, I said it the grocery store. I was grocery shopping with my children. Like many other parents this isn’t my most favorite chore to do with my kids, so I tried to make a game out of it.

They were not into it so I told my son to hold onto the basket while I grabbed something from the freezer. Did he listen? No, but that’s not even the best part.
Why hold onto the basket when you can climb into the freezer which is EXACTLY what he did, he climbed in and the door shut behind him, and LOCKED HIMSELF IN THE FREEZER!

Now any other parent would have taken a picture and thought that this was hilarious right. Yeah, no it terrified me I literally thought I had lost him. You may be thinking geez, stop being dramatic. Some people can panic for a moment and then laugh.

Here’s a little back story to my marketplace meltdown.

The entire week had been nonstop fighting with my kiddos. I am right now juggling a full time job, 3 kids and a household by myself as my fiancé is in another state right now for work. When my littlest, who is 15 months old started to join in, I was literally ready to throw in the towel and call it a night. Oh, wait I had to feed the children, hence why I was at the grocery store.

So again, instead of laughing when my son was literally standing behind the glass down in the freezer section, I freaked out. I quickly finished up with what groceries I did have in the cart, get three kids in their car seats, called my fiancé and broke down. I was ugly crying, the kids in the back looking at me like “Mom can you pull yourself together any time soon please?” After walking myself through what was wrong I got some very clear and apparent advice. “Go drop the kids off at the gym child care and go work out.” Duh.

Elle Woods said it best, “exercising releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy” (I hope you all know the rest!)

It was important for me to say out loud everything that was bothering me. Then more important to be able to separate for a second and take some time for me. I needed the hour to myself at the gym to just be able to catch my breath. Which an hour earlier I couldn’t feel like I could do.

Now your next meltdown may not be when your locks himself in the freezer, it could be any where but it will happen. My hope that when the next event happens, you’ll be able to fully embrace the stress. Ugly cry, be mad, be sad whatever it is so that you can fully work out your stress.

Ms. Brittani
Lead Preschool Teacher
Health & Wellness Coordinator

We all know the type. Perfect hair, perfect makeup, impeccable house, above average children who could do no wrong. She’s the perfect mom and has made all the right choices leading to this. Underneath? She’s a mess. She’s doing her best just like the rest of us, but chooses what to put forth as an indicator of how her life is going. And while so many of those moms convey these perfect lives on social media, they do a fair amount of judging right along with it. Sanctimommies. Mom-shaming.

Here’s the thing: social media traps so many of us into thinking we need to strive to be just like her when the fact is that we’re all going to do the very best with the information and tools we have. You know the stuff I’m talking about. Breastfeeding versus formula feeding, birthing, sleeping arrangements, discipline, the list goes on and on. All these “experts” who think they know what’s best for everyone.

Don’t get me wrong, I have my own preferences as a mom and I’m not shy about them. Some of those preferences shape who I am as a teacher. I do things a certain way with my own boys. But, my preferences simply CAN’T be the preferences for every mom and every child. And let’s be real, I’m not perfect and in most of my own social media posts you’ll see messy faces, toys all over, and some spectacularly wonky hair.

So what can be done when these perfect social media sanctimommies attack? First, remember that social media isn’t real life. Sure you can find a wealth of information, recipes you’ll never make and craft ideas you’ll never complete, but not all that information is helpful, correct, or inline with your situation. You can’t convince anyone who doesn’t want to learn anything new, so don’t stress it.

Second, know that absolutely no one can make you feel shame or guilt except yourself. If someone is telling you something about your parenting choices and you know that you made the right decision for you and your family with the information and tools you had, that’s all you need to know. You owe the internet trolls nothing.

Last, it’s not about what your life looks like to everyone else on the outside, but about how it feels to you and your children. I promise you I don’t look back at my childhood picture albums and focus on the stuff in the background. I look at the smiles and the experiences that were captured. That’s what matters.