The alarm goes off and the sun is getting ready to rise. I wake up three children; each has their own individual routine for getting ready in the morning.

They have been awake for less than 20 minutes when I hear “Mom, blah blah took the cup I wanted to use.”
Then, “NO!! I had it first.”

There it is. The day has officially begun.

It can be a frustrating daily event with siblings fighting. It seems like I could be putting out fires all day long. There are days when I think, ” Do you guys even love each other?” Of course, they do. They are just learning to handle their emotions, express their thoughts, and persuading others to do what they want.

As frustrating as it can be, the truth is that it’s normal and necessary. Conflict happens in all relationships and siblings are no different. There is an upside to the fighting, they are learning important skills. When conflict happens, children are given the opportunity to learn conflict resolution skills. Conflict resolution skills are social skills that they will use in their future relationships with friends and coworkers to solve problems and compromise.

When the kids start fighting the first thing I ask myself ” Is this a problem they can solve on their own?” If yes, (which 90% of the time it is) then I allow them to work it out, as long as it does not get physical. We start by giving our children the tools and skills of sharing, taking turns and playing peacefully. In my opinion, it is important that we empower our children and give them the opportunity to solve their own problems. If I solve all of their fights then they learn nothing about resolving their own conflicts or preventing conflicts from happening in the first place.

Here are just a few reasons why some siblings fight and some ideas to help: 

They are seeking attention. A child who wants attention, either from you or from their sibling, goes about it in different ways, fighting is one way. I like to give each child their own time with me. Sometimes they just need your attention without everyone else. So, plan an activity that you can do with each one of them.

They are learning the difference of equality and fairness. They don’t think it fair that the oldest one stays up later or why the birthday girl is the only one that gets presents. I like to make this a conversation where I encourage them to express their feelings, explain my logic, point out the important points. They may still contest that “it’s not fair” but they are still learning to understand equality and fairness. As they get older their developed ideas of fairness change.

Although the fighting can drive you crazy and may seem there is no end in sight, it is an important and healthy part of their development. We have given them the tools to handle conflict and disagreement and now they are working on developing those tools.

Raising siblings can be stressful but not impossible.

Here is a great resource I have found that has a few other strategies that can help with siblings fighting.

6 SMART WAYS TO GET YOUR KIDS TO STOP FIGHTING

~Ms. Sarah W.
Professional Development Coordinator

First birthdays come and go, then it’s their second, third and ah! they are growing so fast!. They have begun from wobbling, walking and now destroying your home. I have a 1 year old at home and believe it or not he’s one of my biggest helpers when it comes to putting dishes away. You know what they say, “start them early…”

Everyone grows up doing their own little chores, so why not have your little one learn and do the same? Not everyone has the opportunity where both parents can help teach them. Chores can give kids a sense of independence and worth. They are able to see cause and effect, “If I clean this, I’ll get this” and real progress. Many families implement chores in their homes; are you ready?

If your 4 year old wants to help with everything or be in everything, let them!! There is going to come a time when they’re going complain about doing everything, so take advantage now! A lot of times we parents are overwhelmed trying to figure out what age appropriate chores for our kids. “What are they capable of doing?” and “Am I mean for making them clean?” are questions that run through our heads. Understand that you are your child’s best advocate, and ultimately, you want them to be strong and independent.

Below is a reasonable list of what your child can do:

1. Clean up their room/toys; label the buckets with pictures so your child knows where things go.
2. Making their bed; May not be prefect, but still let them try!
3. Help with groceries. Throw in incentives sparingly and talk about what great help they are etc.
4. Unload laundry. Just placing it in the basket takes one thing off your list, and your kids truly want to help!
5. Dress themselves/doing their hair. LOL, why not? Set out 2 outfits and then your child will feel like they get to be in charge. Plus if they wear shorts over their pants, is it really going to matter in the long run?

“Trust and believe in your monster”

~Tenesha 
Safety & Health Coordinator

There are so many positive things to do on Sundays to prepare for the week. First off, spend your Sunday doing exactly what you want! Make yourself completely relaxed and ready to take on the week. There are so many that get the “Sunday night blues”. Don’t be one of those people.

With these three simple things to do on Sunday nights you will always be ready to tackle Monday.

1. Be positive about the week coming. The more that you dread it the faster it will come, and you will not enjoy your weekend ahead of you. Take a new approach to Mondays and look at them as fresh starts for whatever it is you wish to accomplish.

2. Make it a house rule that everyone finds everything that they will need in the morning. Medicines, clothes, jackets, hats, bags, sunglasses, wallets, homework, etc. Take the stress out of your Monday morning! Also remember the more tidy you are on Sunday evening the smoother the rest of the week will go. Clean up the clutter, do the dishes in the sink — it will make a difference. Those are the little things that I do to feel more successful in my week. Find the thing you want to do that sets you up for a more successful week.

3. Reflect on the previous week. Did you make your goals? Did you get the things done that you had planned on getting done? Do you need to find a way to make it happen this week, or set new goals because you rocked the previous week’s socks off! This can be a personal thing or make it a family connection. You could have this discussion over dinner. This will offer support and hold you accountable for achieving your set goals.

These goals can be big or small. Something you can get done easily or something that you will have to work at for many weeks. Things like taking the dog to the groomers, folding all of the laundry and actually putting it away, setting aside one hour each night to play a game or do a puzzle with your children, prepping for the holidays, or cleaning out your scary purse.

Whatever the task is (no matter how small) get it out there and see that you get it done this week. The first step is setting up a plan. That in itself will make you feel one step more accomplished before Monday even happens. This all ties back into having routines. Find three things that can become routine in your homes on Sunday evenings (aside from watching football perhaps!)

~Ms. Brooke
Prekindergarten Teacher
Curriculum Coordinator
Early Literacy Leader

Anxiety according to Webster’s dictionary is vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some (usually ill-defined) misfortune. Now going to school or daycare is not an unfortunate event. However, it can be very emotional and different for children and parents. Some children have always had separation anxiety from the get go. Other children feel their parent’s anxiety and start to stress the same.

We had talked about it for two weeks. We discussed how we were returning to school and work. I had no reason to think the two-year-old was going to have a breakdown and tantrum upon returning to school. Maybe it was my stress about returning to work with a second child. Maybe it was a change in pace after 6 weeks off even though he has been in care himself since 6 weeks old.

But the tears and screaming came in full force. My heart broke, I wanted to run and pick him up and tell him we didn’t have to continue with life and could just cuddle all day. But that wasn’t what either of us needed.

What we both needed was a plan and a follow through that would work best for everyone involved. Just like with everything in life there is no one perfect approach. One child a picture of the family can ease the anxiety. Another child a schedule of the events being discussed upon arrival and correlate with pick up works. With my oldest child it was having a routine and a morning connection that was just his and mine. We have the same talk and hug, affirmation, and pump up every drop off.

Consistency is the best medicine in my opinion when dealing with anxiety. Even a toddler likes to know what to expect and how his/her day is going to go. It is also important to validate the child’s emotions. Children don’t just develop an anxiety without some minor fear. Is one parent gone a lot? Is a parent deployed? Has another child been added to the family? Have the home schedules changed? All these events can cause a child to feel loss or abandoned leading to a child to fear separating from the parent. Allow a child to have feelings but give them the tools and resources to self soothe and understand that you will be returning to them.

One of the biggest influences of the child’s anxiety can be us the parents. Children are natural feelers. They can usually tell we are having a rough go before we even realize it. So it is no shock that they feel a parents anxiety about a situation. It is also hard for us to bottle it up and pretend like we are all smiles at drop off. However, for our little ones drop off with positivity, a smile, and a plan. Then when you get to the car have your moment. (no one is judging. We all need a good cry here and there)

Here is a great resource to help with the do and don’t of dropping off a child with separation anxiety.

~Ms. Michaela
Advanced Prekindergarten Teacher
Child Success Advocate