Anxiety according to Webster’s dictionary is vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some (usually ill-defined) misfortune. Now going to school or daycare is not an unfortunate event. However, it can be very emotional and different for children and parents. Some children have always had separation anxiety from the get go. Other children feel their parent’s anxiety and start to stress the same.

We had talked about it for two weeks. We discussed how we were returning to school and work. I had no reason to think the two-year-old was going to have a breakdown and tantrum upon returning to school. Maybe it was my stress about returning to work with a second child. Maybe it was a change in pace after 6 weeks off even though he has been in care himself since 6 weeks old.

But the tears and screaming came in full force. My heart broke, I wanted to run and pick him up and tell him we didn’t have to continue with life and could just cuddle all day. But that wasn’t what either of us needed.

What we both needed was a plan and a follow through that would work best for everyone involved. Just like with everything in life there is no one perfect approach. One child a picture of the family can ease the anxiety. Another child a schedule of the events being discussed upon arrival and correlate with pick up works. With my oldest child it was having a routine and a morning connection that was just his and mine. We have the same talk and hug, affirmation, and pump up every drop off.

Consistency is the best medicine in my opinion when dealing with anxiety. Even a toddler likes to know what to expect and how his/her day is going to go. It is also important to validate the child’s emotions. Children don’t just develop an anxiety without some minor fear. Is one parent gone a lot? Is a parent deployed? Has another child been added to the family? Have the home schedules changed? All these events can cause a child to feel loss or abandoned leading to a child to fear separating from the parent. Allow a child to have feelings but give them the tools and resources to self soothe and understand that you will be returning to them.

One of the biggest influences of the child’s anxiety can be us the parents. Children are natural feelers. They can usually tell we are having a rough go before we even realize it. So it is no shock that they feel a parents anxiety about a situation. It is also hard for us to bottle it up and pretend like we are all smiles at drop off. However, for our little ones drop off with positivity, a smile, and a plan. Then when you get to the car have your moment. (no one is judging. We all need a good cry here and there)

Here is a great resource to help with the do and don’t of dropping off a child with separation anxiety.

~Ms. Michaela
Advanced Prekindergarten Teacher
Child Success Advocate

Walking into the baby safety aisle might feel a bit overwhelming the first time. There is safety hardware pieces, locks, gates and clip for everything! Suddenly you feel as though your house isn’t a safe place for your dog! Most moms like to be very prepared and like to do prep their houses early. Before it becomes overwhelming let me share with you some tips!

Do a little overtime as you get to know your baby and see what level of curiosity and interest they have in different areas of your home. My husband and I took the route of adding in safety features and items as they became necessary. Children are different during their developmental stages. What we baby proofed for our first child, in some cases did not need to baby proof for our second. Some things our first child got into that our second has no interest for; therefore there is a lack of needing to baby proof the exact same way.

Once your little one starts to scoot/crawl is when I think the first bit of baby proofing needs to take place. Examine all the things the baby can potentially get into at this level. Book on low shelves, DVDs under the TV, dog bowls etc. Find these “no no zones” and easily rearrange items that may become damaged or harmful to your baby if they came in contact. I felt in this stage the only major thing I had to baby proof was the stairways. We choose to install hardware mounted baby gates as we felt those were safer over pressure-mounted gates as we were focusing on blocking off stairs rather than just a room.

Also, you can easily baby proof by shutting the doors. Creating this new habit really helped us cut down on some extra baby proofing. It’s very easy to shut every door behind you. Get in the habit; remind all in your household that this is an important new rule. I would give that a try at first, if not then continue to look for safety hazards in those extra rooms. A few other areas to evaluate would be blind cords, fireplace covers, and any heavy furniture that may need a tie down.

After that little speedster starts crawling, soon comes pulling up to stand and then walking. This is the time when we invested in a few more items. Buy the drawer locks! Such a huge help! Babies at this stage love to pull and push and dig around in those junk drawers and cabinets. So many small things get stuffed in those kitchen drawers; sometimes they may not be safe for your little one.

Also, many tend to keep their cleaning products in the kitchen cabinet, make sure to install a lock on that cabinet ASAP. My suggestion is to let one cabinet or one drawer in the kitchen be baby safe. Let your little one have access to this pace and fill it with cups, books, big spoons, and maybe a few toy pans. They will love spending time digging in their cabinet and will maybe leave the others alone. Another big one at this stage for my family was corner guards. When your little one is beginning to walk, they tend to be a bit wobbly. Inspect any super rough corners on tables and counters to see if a corner guard protector may be necessary.

So, don’t go down the aisle and grab one of everything. Learn with your child as they are investigating and really see which safety items are needed. Letting them discover and explore can be done safely as long as you are learning with them. Be watchful and proactive in your baby proofing! Don’t let the potential danger of things create a panic and take away from your child’s discoveries.

~Ms. Whitney
Prekindergarten Teacher
Curriculum Coordinator

We’ve all been there. It’s 5 o’clock, you’re in Target to grab some last minute items, and your little one starts to have a marketplace meltdown in the middle of the aisle. Then all eyes are on you and the situation at hand. It’s a tough situation to be in!

Parenting is one of the easiest jobs to have an opinion on, yet it remains one of the hardest jobs in the world. Here are some guidance strategies I’ve come up with to help you handle your next Marketplace Meltdown. Believe us, we know it happens.

First thing is first, try to remove your emotions from the moment. I get it; you’re tired, or you’re nervous, or whatever, but your emotional response will only add fuel to the fire. Take a deep breath and start thinking about cause and effect.

What caused the meltdown? Was your child not getting their way? Is there a sensory overload happening? Or is it simple? Your child is simply tired, and doesn’t understand just yet another way to communicate how they’re feeling. Find your cause and take it from there.

Remember your child deserves to have his feelings heard, regardless of your public location. Keep their feelings in mind as you’re maneuvering the situation.

Next, IGNORE the passing eyes of strangers. Chances are, you will never see them again and their opinion of you and your family does not matter. Do not make excuses for his behavior nor should you apologize for it. Give apologies where apologies are due if it is the case, otherwise don’t let it bother you. Focus on your child and let the naysayers pass on.

Now, let’s follow up with consistency. How would you deal with the cause at home? So maybe your son is tired in the middle of Target and you can’t exactly get in some comfy clothes and lay in bed. BUT, maybe you offer some cuddles to soothe him and sing a favorite song. You can easily do that in aisle five, too! Or what if the meltdown was a result of not being willing to buy that piece of candy. Well how would you handle that tantrum at home?

For me, when my son decided to scream in the middle of the botanical gardens for some candy, I removed him from the shop (the situation.) I then let him sit down on the side of the sidewalk to express his frustrations. I was firm with him, letting him know we would NOT be getting candy due to his behavior.

This particular time took about ten minutes, with people looking at us as he sat on the sidelines kicking and screaming. I had my back turned to him, making it known I would not give in to his ways. He eventually calmed I spoke to him in a calm voice about what had happened. I let him know that it is okay to be frustrated, but gave him words to express himself. This is the exact same thing I would do at home.

The big thing here is consistency and not giving in. YOU are the adult and the parent, YOU get to determine how to run the show. If you succumb to your son’s want of candy, you just reinforce that behavior, meaning he will associate the tantrum to receiving his want.

Despite all this, you can prepare ahead of time to try and avoid it all! Be clear about your expectations and rules during your trip. Keep these expectations simple and constant, meaning they can apply to almost any outing. Further, talk to your kid. Communicate with them what is happening so they know what to expect. Let them know of your plans after work or school. They want to be communicated with just as much as we do. You can start this early on, so as your child grows older, the easier it becomes.

I hope some of this helped you ease your worries about those marketplace meltdowns. This happens to every parent, keep these tools in your pocket and put them into practice. It all comes down to:

1) Remove your emotion-filled response
2) Determine your cause
3) IGNORE the strangers
4) Remain consistent 
5) DON’T give in!

Good luck and thank you for reading!

Ms. Caitlin
Wellness Coordinator
Young Scholars Academy

I had waited 9 months for the day to come. I didn’t think I would be scared until the actual day came — and I was! Thankfully I had a lot of support through friends and family. I ended up being in labor for 35 hours, which left me exhausted. After my baby (finally!) arrived, all I wanted to do was stare at him and hold him, bonding to this tiny newness. When we were released from the hospital all I could do was create a plan to be the best mother I could be.

The moment when we find out we’re pregnant is filled with excitement and anxiousness. We then spend countless hours thinking of how we are going to shape our kids into the adults the world needs. It’s hard to get caught up at times with the future that some parents find it hard to parent in the moment. The time will come for life lessons; be sure to take the time and bond with your baby.

When your children are younger, they want to hang out with you every second of the day, so take the advantage! Once they’re grown it’s harder to even have just a dinner with your kid, so make every second count. My dad would bond with me by playing music, helping him build & fix things. He took the time to cook with me, help create our own rap songs together and even bond with me over household chores. It wasn’t the activity in itself that was fancy; it was the time he took to spend with me that meant it all.

A phrase I think is very helpful is “quality over quantity”. Now that I have my own son I take the time listen to music, dance, and sing with him. I know how much it meant to me as a child, so I want to share that with him. His dad has bonding moments too–he even takes the morning to read scriptures with him, play hide-and-seek and make him laugh before our day begins. Whatever way you and your child bond, do more of that.

Newborn bonding can mean having your baby lay on your chest, (skin-to-skin is huge!) Breastfeeding and feeding in general is another huge way to bond with your child. Give yourself enough time to feed and don’t rush the process. Feeding is one of those things kids will have control over their entire lives, so keep that in mind!

All we recommend is listening to your gut, doing what is best for your kid and taking time for the small moments.

Visit www.kidshealth.org/ for more ideas about bonding and its importance.

Thank you for reading,
Ms. Tenesha
Health & Safety Coordinator
Young Scholars Academy